paint me a skeleton

dysfunctional

2010-05-30T20:21:00.002+08:00

so i wonder if anyone even comes on to this blog anymore. in any case, i have 'moved' on to another space - http://graceist.tumblr.com

FOLLOW me here

2010-04-20T00:38:00.002+08:00

can you actually fall in love with somebody because of their interests?

this world is getting more superficial. (like what's new?) on my way back home today, i tried not to look at anyone in the face. i just closed my eyes and pretended to sleep on the train. looks and beauty is so overrated. everyone is trying to compete with each other and outdo one another.

on a side note, this man is the sex. who cares about smelling like summer and looking like rainbows?

sunday

2010-04-19T01:29:00.002+08:00

and before i go to bed tonight.. i am going to list down the things/people who have delighted me in one way or another (today)..

1. its not ami's job to train me so i am grateful that he's even helping me out with weights & strengthening exercises. ami, you're not that far away from your own goal anyway. you're already spore's 1st.

2. trainings, indian food, farts, nonsense chat sessions, "hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy" exhibition, lebanese restaurant, farts, and golden mile dinner with kru kadir and serlyn - one is my trainer, the other my training partner

and im gonna go to bed now with the smell of sheesha in my hair.

good night!

the pursuit of happiness

2010-04-16T14:14:00.002+08:00

Today, I've set my mind. I am going to travel around the world and meet new artists. They are the only people who are as like-minded, just like this jap guy (who is currently an artist in residency at Taipei). He came in the gallery an hr ago, told me that my ugly dancing rocks and said "i want to go toilet" and "i will miss you" in mandarin. HOW WEIRD AND CUTE!

FIGHT!

2010-04-15T18:20:00.001+08:00

So i didn't update about the fight. It was quite disappointing. I was informed just 2 matches before mine, that I had to fight another girl - a pro. She was supposed to fight another female pro fighter but her opponent was sick. So it was decided that she was going to be my match. (and my supposed opponent withdrew)

Oh well. It was a really good experience nonetheless. I am going to continue to train hard and fight even harder for my next match!

Watch out! :)

2 more days

2010-04-03T00:06:00.003+08:00

oooh yay! today was quite awesome.

1. went for mass in the afternoon
2. finally managed to catch an afternoon nap (more of this in the future :D)
3. chillin' session with the thai trainers & evening run @ the beach
4. kru (trainer in thai) bought me my 1st muay thai shorts
5. golden mile is a gem
6. thai massage, thai beef noodles, thai supermarket finds, chewy marshmallows, thai pub, an afro thai :P

I just wished he had the balls to walk up.

Oh well. I still have 1kg to lose. Gotta wake up at 8am tomorrow to skip before weigh in at 10am. Can i skip work? :(

lazy ass

2010-03-29T13:49:00.003+08:00

Idiot. Stupid Idiot. I am not employed to look after your financial payments. Settle them yourself! gawdamnit. I just realised i am underpaid. I am earning 4x less but doing 5x more work than someone else who earns $5000. What shit is this?

I am so glad that I am here alone.

1 more month. 1 more month. Good luck to the new girl :P

2010-03-29T01:04:00.002+08:00

So freaking awesome and hardcore.

I hate writing essays/reports/letters/personal statements or whatever. This sucks. I have a day to submit my personal statement before the application deadline for NAC scholarship closes. So anyway, i am finally done with -

1. Deadline of Poskad Art submission (30 Mar)
2. Work on 27th mar, The Fray concert on 27th mar and Boxing Competition on 27th mar

And I am still stuck with -

1. Deadline of NAC scholarship (30 Mar)
2. SINdie prod talks (PRESENT) SIFF is nearing, major work overload
3. SINdie viral video shoot (SOON)
4. Art Installation/exhibition (17 May) <- This can wait, but i have to email Ikea to ask them for sponsorship (SOON)
5. I am broke. I need to think of a way to earn more $$! (ASAP) Phone bill not paid, $50 for fight. WTF

Last but not least, FIGHT ON 4TH APRIL (date is changed now)

OH WELL. At least i don't feel that much pressure now. Things are slowly improving, i think i can handle it. Looking forward to running after work tomorrow ;)

Oh and did i mentioned? I got kicked in my knee, punched in my face and scratched in my elbow during sparring with my trainer on fri. It was good man. Last sparring session before the fight on this coming sun :)

6 more days...
33 more days to being a bum.

its superman!

2010-03-23T16:00:00.002+08:00

i thought i just saw someone jumping off the building through the reflection of the mac com.

2010-03-22T00:27:00.003+08:00

i am so tempted to tear open the box of oreos and the hot & spicy calbee chips! fffffffffffffffff. but i have to restraint myself! i need to lose 1.5kg in 2 weeks for my fight :|

i dream, i wish

2010-03-21T23:43:00.004+08:00

there is no use of pleasing everyone. do you believe in horoscopes? i try to tell myself its untrue but i do believe, sub-consiously. i should keep my emotions at bay, i realised that i fall too easily. my emotions stray ever so loosely, especially with inspirational people who have had media attention but are still so humble and grounded. i learn a lot from these people but spending too much time with them might just lead on to something. :O

afterall, we're still human.

2010-03-20T01:50:00.000+08:00

I NEED TO BE MORE AGGRESSIVE!!!

self doubts

2010-03-18T01:23:00.003+08:00

FTW. FML. FTW. FML. FTW. FML.

I am going through a freaking roller-coaster ride right now.

1. Fight (3 April)
2. Work @ gallery (Ongoing and turnover of events/exhibitions are fast!!)
3. Deadline of Poskad Art submission (30 Mar)
4. Deadline of NAC scholarship (30 Mar)
5. SINdie prod talks (PRESENT) SIFF is nearing, major work overload
6. SINdie viral video shoot (SOON)
7. Art Installation/exhibition (17 May) <- This can wait, but i have to email Ikea to ask them for sponsorship (SOON)
8. Mum's birthday is this Sunday (present?)
9. Work on 27th mar, The Fray concert on 27th mar and Boxing Competition on 27th mar
10. I am broke. I need to think of a way to earn more $$! (ASAP) Phone bill not paid, $50 for fight. WTF

HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO ACCOMPLISH ALL OF THE ABOVE WITHIN A MONTH. DAMN IT. IF I CAN ACTUALLY COME OUT ALIVE AFTER THE 1ST WEEK OF APRIL... UM. I don't know what i will do. But i know i'll be over the moon, that's for sure!

HANG IN THERE, GRACE. HAVE NO FEAR, YOU CAN DO IT!

switching off

2010-03-16T14:09:00.002+08:00

@ work now, and my eyes are shutting.. this is bad. haven't had quality sleep for the past few days :( i need a rest and massage BADLY. which is why i am not going training today but instead have a good rub down at my fav ichiban massage parlour. listening to ben harper on youtube now, makes me wanna zzz even more.

damn. how to win the fight? i feel so weak, bruised and all achy. how to train in this body condition? HOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

I want to get over and done with this fast so i can continue to lead my hippie life ;) or maybe i won't be as nervous as present, if i am going to fight in future again.

only training on my mind

2010-03-14T23:59:00.003+08:00

Training today was... one word. SHIIIOOOK! "Hard work, easy win" - in the words of rizan, spore's top pro boxer. I've never ran so hard and so much this year. Today was the first. My body is filled with bruises and my neck feels like a stiff wood. I am not looking forward to waking up tomorrow morning. (the aches!) Urgh. But i feel so motivated and determined to fight well right now. Can i not go to work? I think about training 24/7 and zak says angie might as well just sack me. Haha

i can control everything, except one thing.. my emotions. i fall prey too easily. or maybe i should just enjoy this feeling because who gets to have crushes at 60yrs old?

;)

sparring training

2010-03-12T01:41:00.002+08:00

So i'm gonna fight on april 3rd, come support! I don't know if i should be happy or not. NO FEAR, GRACE. NO FEAR.

Countdown to being a bummer: 49 days

good night

2010-03-09T01:32:00.002+08:00

A sweet song to listen to before going to bed.

Countdown to being a bummer: 52 days

2010-03-08T01:12:00.001+08:00

YEAH BABEH! HOW DO YA FIND THIS NEW RE-VAMPED BLOG LAYOUT?

I LOVE IT.

2010-02-18T16:17:00.001+08:00

goodbye for now.

2010-02-07T13:43:00.002+08:00

SMU film fest was such a disappointment. no one actually dared to say anything about our film but it was just... a let down. i don't know what to say. the past week has been quite overwhelming yet exciting. i have so much to do and so much to complete! work is just hindering my time. but i have to stick to it for the sake of $$. urghh and the hardest thing is that no one understands. even though they try to. art is 1 outlet which i can vent all my @#$@%#$^^#!

silence is golden

2010-01-15T13:52:00.003+08:00

sometimes, things will be better if you just... zip.

STOP. AND. LISTEN.

give peace a chance

2010-01-15T13:37:00.005+08:00

why do all good people die young/too soon. im listening to john lennon while at work and its just so sad.

"Laurel and Hardy, that's John and Yoko. And we stand a better chance under that guise because all the serious people like Martin Luther King and Kennedy and Gandhi got shot." -- John Lennon

i don't give a shit if anyone says his song is demonic because he dared to be controversial. and no one has the guts to be strong like him.

*****

you think you know it, but you don't.

i wonder how i'll die.

feel loved

2010-01-12T15:53:00.001+08:00

"hey, it's raining heavily. you safe? :)"

this is by far, one of the shortest and sweetest msg i've received this year.

hi stalker

2010-01-10T22:36:00.001+08:00

"common sense in an uncommon degree is what the world calls wisdom"
- samuel taylor coleridge

totally agree.

pour some sugar on me

2010-01-10T22:19:00.003+08:00

phew, just let off some steam through writing! def leppard live is the shizz especially when the volume is maximumly plugged in both your ear. anyway thank goodness for last night, some light hearted fun is always good for your soul. and when you know that there are people who still care and friends who does the silliest things which make you go hysteric. (read: NOT trying hard)

I WANT TO BE A ROCKSTAR AND BE FREE! I just realised space is the most important thing in my life and there is only 1 person to answer to: myself

not funny.

say x to iphone

2010-01-06T00:33:00.000+08:00

Can't wait to get my hands on this clamshell! :D

muay thai training

2010-01-02T14:13:00.003+08:00

with my 'master' :)

HAPPY 2010 EARTHLINGS!

2009-12-31T01:09:00.002+08:00

1.24am

watching Fahrenheit 911
living on hope
glad that babe is coming back tomorrow
wondering why is there a need to celebrate the new year?
believes my toe is broken
hungry

peace.

d korea day 1

2009-12-26T01:24:00.002+08:00

merry freaking christmas ya'll! 25th dec has just passed, the day started off on a pretty emotional tone. i dreamt of myself having a tele-convo with d but woke up to nought. it was like a nightmare, urghh! come back to singapore now! not having your loved one beside you on christmas day doesn't feel like christmas at all. the best present i recieved today was a long distance phone call from him. :) i've got an oven for christmas too. cupcakeys here i come!!!

On a brighter note, my film got selected: http://smufilmfest.wordpress.com/screening-schedule/31-jan/

S.U.P.P.O.R.T

Muay thai tomorrow, bloody suits the term - boxing day.

2009-12-24T00:42:00.000+08:00

"Uncertainty and expectation are the joys of life. Security is an insipid thing, and the overtaking and possessing of a wish, discovers the folly of the chase." - William Congreve

2009-12-22T00:26:00.001+08:00

"A person does not have to be behind bars to be a prisoner. People can be prisoners of their own concepts and ideas. They can be slaves to their own selves." - Maharaji

"We have to learn to be our own best friends because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies." - Roderick Thorp

2009-12-13T23:39:00.001+08:00

"The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious - the fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true science." - Albert Einstein

cracked lipsss

2009-12-12T01:32:00.003+08:00

i sparred for the first time today. it was good. getting punched in the face feels so real, the pain makes me feel alive. but of course, i did get to touch her as well. the most impt thing i've gotten out from muay thai is R.E.S.P.E.C.T. (yourself, your opponent and the fight itself.) and also, having fun! but wtf i carelessly left my I/C at the gym this evening, urgh! I totally forgot to exchange it with the locker key. its ok, i'll be identity-less for 2 days. i am loving my job right now but i just need a freakin' breakkkk! i want to be a bum for a week. i feel so old or should i say, mature? (in a good way, wise) but i need to start acting like a 20yr old adolescent who is still unsure of her identity and experience the awkwardness phase of growing up into an adult which i think i have skipped. working life totally changes the dynamics of a person's lifestyle. someone thought i own the gallery today and hence, treated me so nicely. how would i know if she's genuinely nice or just trying to lick my boots. should i even be suspicious of her friendliness? the world is so full of contradictions, no one even knows what is right or wrong now. damn you grey area!

high and dry

2009-12-07T00:54:00.004+08:00

oh damn, i was just feeling so tired this evening. caught 'gomorrah' with the cousin. i found the movie a lil too draggy but there were parts which kept me on the edge of my seat although mid-way i was trying to keep my eyes open. thank goodness for the yupi hamburger gummy! anyway, i'm proud that i managed to pull myself out of bed this morning to run the SCM 10km. it was great, the run was enjoyable and i faired better as compared to the previous great eastern 10km. (that was the most recent run before today!) tsk tsk. haven't ran properly in almost 4 months now. if not for muay thai, i think even walking will start to make me pant like a dog. ha ha. 2 days ago, i almost went berserk! i thought i lost my beloved hard disk. right at that moment when i realised my hdd wasn't with me, i thought that was the end. the end to a lot of things. (and important files) my fyp proj, peektures, music, etc etc etc. too much of a loss. so fortunate for a kind lecturer and student to have found and returned it. im so glad that my hard disk is now back and safe in my hands. yay! d is coming back tonight! weekends are usually 'our days', but church took him away from me. (that can be a good thing) haha just trying to look on the brighter side of life. today i made friends with the soya bean drink stall lady. she reminds me of a milk maid with the uniform she wears.

oh and i just posted up an interview i recently did with a film maker : http://www.sindieonly.blogspot.com/ must watch 'The Gang'!

have a good night ya'll!

holiday

2009-12-06T00:35:00.000+08:00

bf out of town, mum in macau ;(

happy hairy rayay!

2009-11-28T18:01:00.001+08:00

Yesterday was one of the best days i've had since... months?

1. it was a public hol
2. 11am brunchfast @ macs
3. spending the whole afternoon (& night) with d
4. ♥ doodle the poodle
5. filming @ my art space
6. art jamming

i am freaking drained out right now.

*****

i think my bestfriend hates me

2009-11-24T01:05:00.001+08:00

support.

"in the mood for love" by vincent chow

2009-11-22T15:35:00.005+08:00

click

to view more visuals

visuals from the tiny camera (below)

2009-11-20T14:02:00.002+08:00

@ marina barrage

oxymoron

2009-11-20T01:34:00.002+08:00

my vice would be being overly obsessed. i also realised that too much of a good thing can hurt.

what if tonight is our last night on earth? what still matters? our possessions? our self-esteem? or love? can we take all with us?

"If you want someone to be there tomorrow, take time to get to know them on the inside and out. Things that are meant to last are worth the wait."

click to view

2009-11-16T00:43:00.005+08:00

fifteenth november o nine

Ikimono 110 film camera

2009-11-15T15:08:00.001+08:00

The most fabulous and cutest birthday gift i've received.

2009-11-13T12:47:00.002+08:00

"The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread." - Mother Teresa

"Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained." - Arthur Somers Roche

*****

My first 2 attempts at watercolour.

a hippy grampy

darius's dog - doodle stucked in a tissue box

vivia la life

2009-11-11T02:02:00.003+08:00

so bad, i've been going to bed past midnight everyday and this has been ongoing for 2 weeks. it just gets worst day after day and now i'm getting used to this bad habit. oh well.

coldplay had one of their best concerts in tokyo. i thought their concert was just amazing.

Thank god its wednesday! Wednesday is my fav day of the week hands down because i get to go through my daily routines 10x slower than my normal pace and just enjoy every second of the day. it makes me appreciate the little pleasures in life.

♥

2009-11-08T02:04:00.002+08:00

seriously, if you're even reading this right now, i salute you. ~ 1 1/2 months have passed and i intend on updating regularly but sometimes or actually most of the time, something crops up in the midst of me typing an entry and i'll shift my attention to completing whatever i'm supposed to do and totally forget about this.

so well, i even missed on updating my '20th birthday' on my own blog. i've never felt so much love in my life before, i only realised it on 2nd november. and then today, i felt it again. i received 2 of the most fantastic gifts from 2 of my most awesome lovers in my life. i might post pictures up here *crosses fingers*

work has been tough but the most tough period is through. trying to catch my breath now and going back to my daily job routine @ the gallery (usual solo exhibitions, etc)

within a month, i've

1. taken up muay thai (and loving it) look out! i might be the next pro fighter ;)
2. completed 3 paintings and put them up for sale
3. committed to being in a r/s
4. completed a 10km race even though i haven't ran in 3 months

looking on the brighter side of life :)

feeding from my happiness

2009-09-20T01:36:00.003+08:00

dear potted plant,

i will care for you, cherish you and fill you with water everyday.

happiness private limited

2009-09-19T01:55:00.003+08:00

oh damn, my digi cam got soaked in water and i need to get it fixed asap. oh anyhow, the past few days have been *thumbs up* despite some intensed awkweird situations.

1. parents wedding anniversary dinner
2. short & sweet texts in-between days
3. mom agreeing to lasalle's over the top school fees
4. happiness private limited exhibition - one of the happiest exhibition i've ever attended
5. sunday and monday - off from work!

looking forward to the weekends :)
but not tuesday.

a new potted plant added on my 'to take care of' list.

2009-09-15T00:45:00.002+08:00

"What you are afraid to do is a clear indicator of the next thing you need to do." - Anonymous

Freaking tired, my eyes body legs arms feel so dead. But obviously still made the right decision on coming online :) I've got a painting class to attend later @ 10am! I must force myself to wake up and be on time because i missed last tues.

oh well still looking forward to what life has to offer!

good night one and all

past bed time

2009-09-12T01:17:00.003+08:00

today was good, actually yesterday. its already an hr past midnight, i promised myself to be in bed before 12 but being the undisciplined stubborn self, i had to be a rebel. and choices have consequences hence, i'll only have less than 7hrs of sleep tonight =| shouldn't be complaining though, i think i'm working on 4 jobs right now. my public life of work, my other public life of 'work' which is applying for schools, my private life of 'work' - upcoming projs and my secret life of 'work' - my passion.

complicated huh.

but i know you're interested. HAH

busy bees

2009-09-11T01:12:00.002+08:00

"Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings." - Samuel Johnson

Work is getting too eggciting! I can't contain myself. I have so much on my plate, too much actually. Its overwhelming!

today, my boss asked "so do you have a boyfriend?"
haha it was queer. i feel like i am attached, but to myself. actually no maybe i do have someone. he just made my night!

and tonight, i finally met up with my very first bf (back in sec 1) if you actually count that as a r/s. haha, he's still the same ol' silly irritating character as before but a more matured gentleman now. never have i thought he would set up and manage his own company. at only 19! come to think of it, there are actually so many people i have known before who i would love to work with in future.

life is so hopeful! i've been working for almost 3 months now and tomorrow's d-day! progress report meeting with da boss. gosh i love my boss. its so weird even typing this out.

2009-09-09T23:56:00.002+08:00

today, i managed to catch 2 movies :

1. 'management' - 5.5/10
2. 'world's greatest dad' - 8.5/10

new blog up!

2009-09-09T16:17:00.000+08:00

- Snaps from my travels: http://gracescapade.blogspot.com

wednesdays are the best days of the month.

sister act

2009-08-31T01:24:00.002+08:00

as usual, hope everyone's doing fine.

things have been a-ok on my side, albeit the ups and downs. am slowly trying to get in contact with people i've missed out during the past years. i miss everyone. work has been great this week, working at my own pace and w/o much stress. so many stuffs coming up soon, life is so hopeful. i'm so psyched! damnit.

2nd chances are worth giving to people who mean smth to you.

consume

2009-08-12T13:29:00.002+08:00

howdy. its been almost 3 weeks since i last updated an entry. i wonder who still reads this blog, and i see that my tagboard has turned into an advert tool. a lot has happened ever since july 26 (which was the most recent post)

1. I came in 39th for Shape run, 1 placing back from last year's 38th.
Hey! Still good job for a person who hasn't been running for miles and who lost sight of her goal along the way.

And nothing much on running after poly 50. Lately, have just been immersing myself into visual arts with 3 exhibitions on my radar. Stress has caught up on me but i have discovered that the aftermath of these accomplishments will make feel like a powerful tigress without fear for any events that will come my way, no matter how energy-consuming and mind-draining they might be. Good experiences come a long way and only through hard work and much effort, will we succeed.

I might be flying to Vancouver, Canada this Oct. Will visit my aunt there as well as check out a uni which i hope to enrol in. I need to get away from this place to appreciate it better.

yagetwhaddaimean?

O.M.G

2009-07-26T02:39:00.003+08:00

I am dead tired, exhausted and sleepy. But there's just something about staying online thats keeping me awake. I think its just facebook. ahaha my dad just created a new fb account which is plain awkweird. having your father as a 'friend' on fb?! gotta be careful of what i post on my status and photos. haha oh besides that, tonight was yet another exhibition opening night @ the gallery which is also the 2nd one i've attended since work started. i must say, it just gets better each time once you clear that first hurdle. time really does wonders too, i'd like to think im starting to get used to things at work. its been a month, what can i say. i just hope for the best! and work hard of course. 'how would i run a gallery if i own 1?' huge responsibility huh.

ok i've had enough of you, internet. good night virtual world

The Muse by Oh Molly!

2009-07-22T15:49:00.004+08:00

I'd like to think all our efforts haven't been null. 'The Muse' is screening @ The Esplanade's plasma screen till Oct!
Go catch it if you haven't.

Wednesday has finally arrived again! I love wednesdays, no work! *thumbs up*

Gonna go to the beach for a run then meet irene later tonight, yessir! Thats why wednesdays are the best.

2009-07-16T00:44:00.003+08:00

Hi all!

I managed a feat during poly50 training today. Yes, training! Finally right? I ran till my legs felt jelly weak, horrendous lactic. But it 'twas good. The feeling was really good, to be back at the stadium running. It used to be my 2nd home, almost. I wished everyday was wednesday. I really liked today. Work has made me appreciate days like today - getting things done on my own pace, and of course, going back for training! Don't get me wrong, i like my job. I really do. I get to meet people from all walks of life and feels good supporting local emerging artists and lots more. If you're into art (or not) check out http://fill-your-walls.com/gallery.php just copy and paste this link to your browser and you'll know what i mean. :)

tomorrow will be yet another day @ work. *heaves a happy sigh*

good night lovelies

comfort zone

2009-07-12T12:08:00.002+08:00

beautiful song!

yesterday was my 1st attendance @ an opening art exhibition. i must say, it is an event which i never imagined myself attending in the past and i don't know, maybe its because i'm new? there weren't many people i knew there but its not an excuse not to socialise yea? whatever it is, the night still ended well because 1. i met up with cat and badron. so glad that we still met up even though i was already exhaused to the max. came home @ 3am and woke up to macs breakfast. i can't wait to go for poly 50 training later at sp!

:)

gallery

2009-07-09T20:10:00.003+08:00

"A ship in a harbor is safe - but that is not what ships are for." - John A. Shedd

20 more mins before i end work.
I will not face the computer when i get home. My eyes feel like they are on fire and my head is of a throbbing pain.
Can't wait to take bus 197 and just melt into the seat, with my ipod plugged in my ears, eyes closed and shun away from the noisy chaotic world.

2009-07-07T11:06:00.002+08:00

howdy ya'll! how's everyone livin' life? well, its my 3rd week into my new job and i must say i am coping alright. the past 2 weeks have been quite overwhelming - falling ill, extraction of wisdom teeth, etc etc. i foresee the upcoming weeks to be as bz too. chinatown now feels like my 2nd home, it was nice meeting up with yilin last night! i really miss my friends. all you people reading this, pls gimme a holla we should hang out!! oh and seriously, i just can't wait to get my pay $$ and get a new notebook (laptop). my compaq is falling apart (read: lags like crazy) its really frustrating! tomorrow is my off-day, hell yeahhh! i am going back to sp in the evening for training, feels like ages! yesterday, yilin and i were just sharing on how we feel so old when we're actually only 19 years! its funny. can i say i want to go back to school asap?

alright time to shower then head down to chinatown again! putting up paintings today!

“So you look for patterns because that’s what humans do to try and make sense of things. In hope of some divine order. And you look in movies and songs and the things that you read for symbols, points and swirls that match your own. But the only real pattern there is, is the one you make when you hold up a mirror. And reflect.”

a day in macau #2

2009-07-01T23:32:00.002+08:00

Senado Square

a day in macau #1

2009-06-28T11:48:00.003+08:00

I have close to 300 pictures which i took over a span of 4 days during my Macau trip. This gives me almost a year of 'a picture a day in macau'. I should start a mini proj and everday, i will post a different picture.

#1

Have you ever questioned your faith?

2009-06-27T11:27:00.002+08:00

Just a quick update before i hop into the shower and make my way to work. Man in the mirror by MJ still gets to me, somehow. in a good way. the lyrics, the groove, the beat, everything. anyhow, i've been down with flu and sore throat since sunday (its been a wk, boy!) i have never fallen ill for a whole week. i think its the lack of rest, sleeping late and other unnecessary stuff that adds into it. i will not lie though, more than once this wk, i actually thought about the term 'death'. how would it be like dying young etc. you can't dismiss this thought because its not a bad thing, it just makes you reflect on your life and present situation. at least right now, i have made a few plans with one - leaving spore after attaining my degree in mass comm. :) something to look forward to. i think i'm getting used to my job, feel free to drop by fill-your-walls gallery anytime! i'll make you coffee if you wish.

good day all!

2009-06-23T00:09:00.002+08:00

when you're feeling sick, everything just feels like crap.
poor soul, body and mind.

im back!

2009-06-22T01:21:00.002+08:00

which is scarier,

to know that you're fine being alone or to to know that you don't need anyone in your life?

why am i so complicated.

MACAU, HERE I COME!

2009-06-15T01:05:00.003+08:00

BYE SWEET PEAS!

PLEASE STAY ALIVE TILL I GET BACK ON FRIDAY

PEACE OUT.

change and changes

2009-06-13T12:38:00.004+08:00

you can never run away from judgements. judgements from others; looks, appearence, clothes, the way you talk, the way you work, the way you act, down to even the single tiniest bit of your sway. its so frustrating, as much as you remind yourself not to get affected by it, you just can't. slowly, it eats into you making you feel insecure, lowering your pride, crushing your already little ego, and eventually one day, the ultimate happens - you dive into depression; sleepless nights; you rely on cigarettes, pills, drugs, you become an addict. unknowingly, you are en route to illnesses, diseases, then death comes knocking on your door. is this how we gonna end our lives?

love might be the only cure.

so go get some love!

2009-06-11T19:38:00.002+08:00

“Maybe we should develop a Crayola bomb as our next secret weapon. A happiness weapon. A beauty bomb. And every time a crisis developed, we would launch one. It would explode high in the air - explode softly - and send thousands, millions, of little parachutes into the air. Floating down to earth - boxes of Crayolas. And we wouldn’t go cheap, either - not little boxes of eight. Boxes of sixty-four, with the sharpener built right in. With silver and gold and copper, magenta and peach and lime, amber and umber and all the rest. And people would smile and get a little funny look on their faces and cover the world with imagination.”

— Robert Fulghum

*****

(for a moment i lost track what day is today)
*smacks head*

and because i spent my thursday updating SINdie Only,
you gotta check it out!

Support local independent films

&

local artists @ fill-your-walls

2009-06-08T11:27:00.003+08:00

i can feel it, i'm gonna fail my advanced theory test.

sometimes, when you don't say something, it doesn't mean you don't feel it.
i need to say this though, babe you're always on my mind.

i like his version.

too much on my plate

2009-06-07T17:11:00.000+08:00

Sup lovelies. How's it goin' for everyone?

I am just gonna re post something I previously updated on my other journal.

Here goes:

“Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have.” – Doris Mortman

i love these daily quotes thing from wc horoscopes. makes me reflect who i am as a person.

i cannot say i am content with whatever i have in life right now if not i wouldn’t make any improvements and learn from more experiences. but we shouldn’t be greedy and accept imperfections and flaws because they’re as beautiful too. don’t invite chaos into your life, life has its own simple pleasures too. :)

have a great weekend ya'll!

2009-06-04T02:13:00.002+08:00

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." - Anais Nin

Can i just say i have been really bz & tired, the day (when my body breaks down) will come very soon.

as they say love makes one go crazy.

stay tuned.

she talks to angels

2009-05-28T13:43:00.004+08:00

maybe i should start having a 'book of dreams' where i can keep track of my dreams.
something i got from the dream dictionary (what?!) there seems to be a dictionary for everything. why must everything be explained.

Whispering
A sign that the Universe is trying to convey important information to the dreamer, but that the dreamer is either too afraid or too distracted to hear it. The content of the message can be deduced from other symbols in the dream, or from various signs and portents in the dreamer's waking life.

damn it i need to clear my mind, soooo many things going through my head. even though i had 8hrs of sleep, feels like i've only just taken a short nap. the feeling is like crap, like you're not at your full potential and not at your best state to do anything.

This room is just filled with so much awesome-ness!

2009-05-23T16:46:00.002+08:00

sorta 'skipped' work today, have had enough with damn politics. next week will hopefully be my last week. woke up this morning and have been on my laptop for 5hrs straight. too damn lazy to wash my hair. if you're wondering, i did shower! just didn't wash my hair, i realised my hair grows at a god length speed. if shit was edible, i wonder how mine would taste like? chocolate chips? i had chocolate cookies and tobelrone choc for breakfast. sweeet! notes on a scandal is one of the best films i've watched in 2009. shows how one woman's admiration and envy of another woman can turn into an obsession. i figured there're only 2 consequences -
1. you either copy/mirror the other person's life or try to follow how they converse eat act and basically want to live their life.
2. you start to develop feelings for the other, and eventually become gay.

loneliness can be grave.

makes me wonder...
i look arnd and ask myself if by any chance, i know anyone who's like this?

2009-05-22T00:01:00.000+08:00

KRIS ALLEN FTW!!!!!

2009-05-21T00:52:00.001+08:00

I CANNOT AGREE MORE!

2009-05-20T13:00:00.002+08:00

"Perhaps it wanted to mirror how many perceive life here (Singapore), that you’re given ample opportunity and various platforms to air your piece, but ultimately you are co-opted into what has been decided and established, and the only choice left is whether you’d want to look on the brighter side of things, or dwell miserably on the negatives that you have little power to overcome on your own."

I totally agree.

I am quitting my job at the end of this month :)

2009-05-15T13:26:00.002+08:00

hi i just want to say that i received a rejection letter from NTU and im kinda glad i did? i have an interview at nafa in approx 1/2 hr time. that'd be the one i'll be jumping off the hook if i get accepted in. so wish me luck all! coincidentally, they arranged today's interview on my off day. this is fate.

we all have to start somewhere. but where?

2009-05-12T00:35:00.002+08:00

soon, you might just see me going out with an indian. or just some other nationality.

im not being a freaking racist here.

singaporean chinese males are a disappointment. ok not all, but some i know and i don't feel sorry for saying this so you can go on and hate me.

2009-05-11T00:46:00.002+08:00

if you know who this is...

(for u catherine) haha

no one shall see me in my fugly uniform
unless u catch me by surprise

work has been so tiring! imagine walking to and fro, 10hrs/day for 2 full days. Thank god im only working from 12-3 tmr (mon, wed). this job has taught me well, so far... patience and humility.

2009-05-06T22:53:00.001+08:00

ROLL YOUR CURSOR OVER THE IMAGE!
KWWWEEET AIN'T IT.

2009-05-06T01:22:00.002+08:00

wassup my beloved loyal readers!

work is taking a toll on my daily life, i don't know now if i prefer work to school or the other way. i just hope some school accepts me so i can go back to studying. and i hope my achilles tendon recovers soon so i can go back sp track to train with everyone. i miss them!

anyway, peeks from the past week

Butter factory with the <3 girls 2 fridays ago

surprise date with irene last wed

check out the extra eye. hahaha

my gf forever

my new working buddy

never get caught wearing the uniform infront of my friends.
rai is a lovely person btw!

vanessa is getting married in 2 wks time, sweeeet

my nepalese supaaavisor

that's about it.

2009-05-05T13:34:00.002+08:00

the pain in my achilles tendon is back again, its so frustrating! im so frustrated with myself. im leaning onto work as the cause of this pain. i have missed 4 trainings in total during the past week alone! 45 mins to my BTT e-trial test at ubi and im still here, at home, on my laptop. i really hope i pass my BTT test tmr! do you believe in karma? cos i do.

move on biatch. stop livin' in the past.

start afresh, start anew

2009-04-28T00:43:00.003+08:00

Nothing's gonna stop me now.
Nothing's gonna hold me back.

THIS IS MY TIME.

WORLD, WATCH OUT!

2009-04-26T15:43:00.003+08:00

pls don't bother to check back here for updates because i've been really really really busy with work, friends, situations, and just life, as a whole. plus i have 2 other spaces where i update more regularly. i'm on tippin' toes 7 hrs/day, 4 days a week. the bone at the back of both my heels hurt like shit, now i even have difficulty walking. my grandma had to hold me to cross the road just now, it was embarrassing haha. 1 more hr before i leave for town (work) again. VUREH GOOD! i still want to train damnit. i still want to run.

i realise its impossible to find someone other than yourself, who will be as understanding, to yourself. everyone is so suspicious of everyone, we are too lazy to listen to others, we don't trust, we are scared, we maglined people, we judge, and through these processes, relationships get ruined. and we just leave it at that.

'im busy im busy im busy'. who, in the world, makes an effort now? everyone has their own excuses. bullshit.

2009-04-21T00:23:00.002+08:00

“Every day, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to be alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others; to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings. I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others. I am going to benefit others as much as I can.”

— Dalai Lama

Work, tomorrow. Mon, Wed, Fri, Sun 1/2 day - I have more time to rest and will be able to spend more time with my loved ones.
Felt really glad for achieving today's time-trial timing :)

Will wait.

2009-04-12T13:29:00.001+08:00

HAPPY EASTER SUNDAY!

2009-04-11T17:05:00.002+08:00

staying home rocks my socks but i just disappoint somebody, freak. i think i made a right decision though. tmr's eggy easter, starting work this mon $$, tues will be <3 and the many days to come will continue to be <3 i'm sure. im flying to darwin australia (HELL YEAH AGAIN!) end of may then to macau during june. yessssssa!

gonna start on confessions of a shopaholic now!

2009-04-11T00:15:00.003+08:00

YESSSSSSSIR I AM ONE HAPPY CAMPER! THE EXCITEMENT FROM HEARING HIS VOICE HASN'T SUBSIDED, I AM FEELING MORE AWAKE THAN AN HR AGO. HAHA

Hong Kong's kfc sells egg tarts and sushi! whhhhaaattt?!

3 more days

2009-04-10T11:25:00.002+08:00

yesterday was pretty sweet.

1. met up with irene & min, i missed those girlies!
2. finally found a job, hellyeaaah
3. i pierced my ear, 4th hole now

there are more that i'd say but i wouldn't say it here

HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY!

<3

2009-04-09T00:30:00.004+08:00

s: hey! guess who's this!
g: OMGGGGGGGG

your call, all the way from hong kong, made my night.

damn it i'm missing u already

2009-04-05T20:16:00.002+08:00

some peektures from perth

Lovely, ain't it?

I hope to go back to aussie again.

2009-04-04T23:25:00.002+08:00

so much love

*****

my lips are freaking cracked, hurts so much. thank u scorching sun, i am burnt too.
but all's worth for today. i am really tired good night!

2009-03-31T22:59:00.002+08:00

finally back and i'm so tired. perth is quite awesome, i love it. i think i look a lil burnt and peeled from the sunny-cold weather there. from where i stayed, the beach has lovely sunsets. the houses are so pretty structured, with tiny detailed porches, lil fences and gardens. i hope to own a house over at cottesloe beach. the food prices there are killer-expensive though. this morning i had one of the best breakfast ever, in a week. breakfast @ changi airport's macs HAHA.

ok i think this post will never end, i can continue talking about my trip and every single detail. so i should stop. photos up next! or check fb.

off to bed!

perth, here i come!

2009-03-26T14:27:00.000+08:00

SEE YA'LL ON TUES!

TTFN!

2009-03-25T11:55:00.005+08:00

This morning, i woke up feeling like i havent caught a wink the whole night. Uncountable thoughts going through my mind, but amazingly i am feeling quite fresh right now. I am looking forward to flying, into a new territory and bask in the new surroundings! Travelling is essential to rejunevate the mind body and soul. Now that school's over, this marks the time for a new beginning and change. I'm slowly creeping into the double digit years of life. The awesome 20 years of existence. I love my mom, albeit her never ending grumbles and naggings, i know she cares. When i have kids of my own, i will love them just like a fat kid loves cake.

'nuff of talking. gotta shower, get my ass down to beach road, get a friggin backpack, go for training, come home and pack my clothes for perth.

HAVE A GREAT DAY YA'LL

*****

Why would i want to travel alone?
This person puts it in a way i heartfully agree

The second most common question usually relates to “How can you travel alone?” or “I could never do that” or “I’m trying to find someone to go with….”

It may feel safer to partner up with someone from home, and I’ll admit that there were times I would have sawed off fingers for a familiar face, but you may be cheating yourself. I watched many people traveling in pairs or groups simply stick to themselves in a little bastion of cliquey comfort and safety, barely noticing the new culture or people around them. Many times they didn’t even look happy.

As a loner, I feel that I received an entirely different trip experience in the same place. I also feel that my trip had more resounding spiritual benefits rather than just “entertainment” value. I had time to know myself.

Whatever your travel style is, shake up your comfort settings at some point and give it a try.

In many countries on the backpacking circuit (especially if you look different than the locals) you may have to TRY to be alone! So many times I only wanted some time to myself for reflecting and updating my journal when a stranger sat down and started asking the usual questions….”Where are you from?”, “Where have you been?”, “How long are you traveling?”…..

It does not matter how introverted you are, it is impossible not to meet new people when you are traveling alone. Plus, as a bonus, there is no debate on where to go next, where to eat, where to stay….for one of the first times in your life you are truly free.

As expected, I told my new friend goodbye and watched as she walked across the plank to a rumbling diesel ferry. All I was left with was an email and a lifetime memory…..but when I felt my rucksack biting into my shoulders, I knew that it was time to move on. With every adventure that ends, a new one is not far away.

The sadness of the goodbye melted and suddenly I was smiling. No doubt she was sitting on her boat doing the same. The road always wins.

2009-03-22T17:46:00.001+08:00

HELL YES!

GONNA CATCH DUFFY LIVE @ 8PM LATER!!!

2009-03-21T20:19:00.002+08:00

THIS POST WAS MEANT TO GLORIFY THE MAJESTIC BAOS

HAVE YOU SEE THESE BEFORE?!
QUITE AMAZING AINT IT.

BUT JUST FOR YOU

THE SMELLY ONE!

"jie send me the rainbow picture cannnnnn!"

2009-03-19T14:41:00.003+08:00

SUP!

I'm livin' and lovin' life right now.

I
am
leaving
for
Perth
next
Thursday.

*****

irene: babe i finally had the time to resize all the peeks, send you tonight!

SHE NEEDS A BREAK

2009-03-11T00:32:00.011+08:00

GRACE HAS

GONE ON HIATUS!

(NO UPDATES FROM HERE ONWARDS TILL SHE FEELS MORE ALIVE)

2009-03-09T10:38:00.003+08:00

GRAD SHOWCASE VIDEO

COME COME COME!

Have been pretty busy lately but thats busy without the STRESS. Trainings have been quite i-don't-know, been running my guts out. Stomach's churning like crazy after running. Spent Sat with my sis @ WildWildWet. Yesterday was quite awesome. Took an hr bus ride from my place to Sengkang before taking the train back again, my butt was hurting when i got down. Haha! Orchard road is booring. I couldn't stand walking around after 15mins. Had dinner over @ Little India with the white cousin, omggg the WHOLE place was filled with bangla workers i thought i was in India for real. I love Indian food though *thumbs up* Afterwhich we caught "PUSH" @ Cathay. It was unexpectedly good. Story can be better but i liked the cinematography. Was dead beat when i reached home at 12am. Woke up to macs breakfast (my 3rd macs meal in a week) so yummy. DAMNIT i hear the rumbling wind outside! So dark and gloomy. A STORM'S COMING! Will be down @ dhoby ghaut later AGAIN it'll be my 3rd time in 2 days.